Day 31

I’m currently in the theatre lounge waiting for my long rehearsal to begin. Were going to be running Act 1 at 9pm which is an hour long. So I don’t expect to be home until like 10:30. Awesome!! I’m sleepy and I have a lot of things I need to get done today. I have two auditions tomorrow which I’m so excited about and of course very nervous. First I have a opera audition that I’m not worried about what so ever because he’s only casting two female roles and I want to be in Hairspray, so it works out. It’s basically just a practice audition. Then I have Sagettes auditions which is HUGE for me. Basically if I get in it will be a dream come true. So fingers crossed. Big time. My new outlook on life, baby steps. Everything comes together in time. Just one step at a time. 

Challenge Question:

Day 30

It’s another one of those days when I’m exhausted and I’d much rather write tomorrow but I’m going to stick with this. As you can tell I’m in bed. i’ve already passed out once. It’s been a long day. Today I had two classes, a dance practice with my new friend, and work! I love my new job! Literally all I do is sit in the box office in the lunch area and read or go on my laptop and wait for people to buy tickets, and I’m getting paid for this?! AWESOME! I came home to a surprise. My mom randomly bought me and my sister Scene It Glee. So I can’t wait to have a Glee night tomorrow. New episode, and the game! Soo probably going to sleep shortly. Goodnight.

Challenge Question: Day 30: 5 favorite girls names, 5 favorite boys names

This one is actually kind of fun.

Girls: Ella(Isabella), Maci/Jacey/Lacey, Hailie, Alexis, Scarlet

Boys: Ryan, Jacob, Alex, David, Cameron

(I love how my girl names are so complex and the boy ones are so simple)

Day 29

Oh tumblr, today was eventful, interesting, annoying. Right now I’m trying to calm myself down with classical destressing music. I’m not sure if it’s making me calmer or making me more tense. Today I felt good. I was thinking how much I loved life and how content I was. But then of course that terrible thing looming over me had to pop it’s ugly head in again. It’s funny how you can go from wanting someone back as a friend to wanting to literally punch them in the face. PLEASE GO AWAY! I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE! Why does she have to be apart of everything I love? It’s not fair. I DIDN”T DO ANYTHING! I finally realize this. She manipulated me into thinking it was ALL my fault. When all I was looking for was a friend to lean on. Karma will reach her someday. Back to my calming music. I’m just done with this day.

Challenge Question: Day 29: a date you’d love for someone to take you on

Broadway show, or a concert, or a theme park. My three favorite places to be in this whole world. That would be perfect.

Day 28

Today was really great. Me and one of my closest friends Allison (who I’ve been talking to a lot more lately because we relate well with stuff) went to discover my schools downtown with all the shops. I worked for the city last semester and heard so much about it but never experienced it, so I felt like this was the perfect time. All the boutiques were so cute and they sold the most interesting things. I found this one dress for 80 bucks that I fell in love with and just needed to have. Unfortunatly, I’m broke. Then we went to lunch at my FAVORITE place downtown and got cheese bread and salad. Here we had a much needed long deep conversation about our lives. Allie may be younger but on a emotional basis we click so well. It’s so nice having someone to talk to who understands everything. Where I am in life, things with my sister. It all just brought it to surface and it helped so much. A pizza place nonetheless. I went to bowling tonight, and actually won cards twice. Went to bowling with 20 dollars, came home with 50. Luck was with me tonight.

Challenge Question: Day 28: something you makes you really angry

Girls. Who think they know everything. Who think they are better than you. Girls who open up and tell you everything, who make you believe you can lean on them for anything. Who are always there and then one day decide not to be there. To twist it around and make you think everything that happened was your fault. Manipulative bitches.

Day 27

This is literally me for most of the day (and no it’s not an expensive boa, it’s a blanket!) I’m so cozy and I don’t want to move and I’m not going to move until rehearsal at 3. I’m not going to lie I’ve gone off track with a lot of things. I no longer exercise and I’m so mad at myself for it but I’m literally just too busy and tired. I still have a good sleep schedule but it’s only because I’m too exhausted and pass out when I get home. I plan on starting to work out at least a little starting Monday again. Maybe if I do that ab thing again I’ll get more motivated. I’ve just been so busy. So today I feel a little better, physically and emotionally. I just need to get through it all and I’ll come out on the other end much stronger and happier. It’s not all bad. I have amazing friends, I get out somewhat early today for rehearsal, and I got my work study schedule for school (which is super easy at that). Things are just going to fall right into place. They will. I know it.

Challenge Question: Day 27: a person you wished lived closer and why

I could say this for a lot of people. Jen, Ashley, Cristina, Liz, Asia, Katie, Nadine. UNH buddies because I miss them like hell. I had some really good times when I went away to school and somedays I just wish I could have it back.

Day 26

Woo I think I caught up with all my blog posts! Proud of myself!! So today I was sick, really freaking sick and we had a full run through. I was basically laying on the floor in between scenes. I have chills and terrible cramps in my stomach. I just wanted to pass out. I pick the most amazing times to be sick don’t I? During the middle of the day though I discovered the new student lounge which was pretty sick! Big screen TV and I cooked myself some pasta. I’ll be spending lots of my downtime there. 

Challenge Question: Day 26: 5 things you’re looking forward to

1. Spring Break where I get to visit all my UNH buddies and have an amazing week.

2. NYC trip to see WIT. I mean come on it’s my future home and a Broadway show! Not to mention I hope me and Megan will be talking by then.

3. Tonight. Movies with Nicole or whatever else we find to do.

4. When me and Megan are considered friends again. I know it will eventually happen. It just needs time.

5. Going to bed tonight. I love sleep I can’t help it.

Day 25

Half of me wants to stop doing this. Im too tired when I get home at night and during the day I have too much going on. Today was okay. I did something stupid but it made me realize something else. Things take time and if I don’t want to lose her forever I need to be patient. I asked if we could be friends again and I got rejected. I guess I was just expecting her to say yes, since things have been going so well. I’m done pretending. I’m not going to put up a picture of a fake smile on here. That is how I feel today. Heres hoping for turn around. They can’t all be amazing.

Challenge Question: Day 25: a friend you have lost that you’re better off without/one you wish you had back

Is this just the most ironic creepiest thing ever or is that just me? We all know the answer to this. We all know what happened and Why and everything. So I don’t really need to answer it. I just hope someday she comes back. I hope someday things go back to normal. I miss her.

Day 24

Here I am sitting in the theatre I spend a good portion of my life in. Today was no different. Don’t get me wrong I love my life. I’m falling so hard in love with acting and my man persona is coming along fantastically. It just gets exhausting.. But that is the life, and it’s what I love to do so I will keep doing it! That’s really it. 

Challenge Question: Day 24: your favorite 10 people right now and why

Oh nice long question (good thing I currently have time)

Andrea: She’s my sister. Never will she not be on this list. She’s one of my favorites because I can always count on her. We may have gone through more in the past month than maybe our whole lives but we always come up on top and it brings us closer. She’s the girl I can just go to at any time of the day and I’ll know she’s there for me. 

Nicole: Nicole has been my best friend since I was 11 years old. Shouldn’t that just answer why? We’ve literally been through everything possibly imaginable. So many fights but never forever. Now when we fight it lasts like an hour and then I throw her a random text such as “The cat is in the oven” and everything is fine. She may be married and we may have gone through many moves and changes but were still close. 

Jen: Jen easily became my best friend at UNH and I miss her terribly every single day. The amazing thing about us is we are still super close even if we go half a year not seeing each other. I’m visiting spring break and I can’t wait for our buffalo wild wings date. She’s helped me through so much and I know she’s only a text away.

Steph: It only took one day for me and Steph to be close friends. I was going through a lot last month and she was there for me through everything and honestly it helped me so much. More than she will ever know or I’ll be able to explain. I’m really grateful for her. 

Paola: We were in English together all last semester and didn’t talk once but then we randomly started talking on Facebook and I’m really glad we did. She’s such a nice girl and were starting to become really good friends. Our conversations are always fun.

Kristie: A few days ago she asked me what was wrong and I was so happy someone finally reached out to me about how I was acting. I told her about how I felt left out and I found out how people don’t think I’m being intrusive. It gave me the confidence to speak up and become closer with everyone. Not to mention she always has something nice to say.

Jordan: I only met her just last week but she’s such a nice girl and we are able to relate a lot. She’s also a commuter and transfer student. I’m happy because now I have someone to sit next to in classes and talk to all the time. She’s fun.

Ashley: Ashley was another one of my best friends at UNH but we seriously still talk almost every single day. She’s the girl I can I/m saying “OMG” and she knows what I’m talking about. We always talk about Pretty Little Liars and freak out about it together. I also love showing her the most random links I find on tumblr. She always has something to say it’s great! I definitely miss her!

Cristina: I just really fucking miss her and the daily adventures we would have when we were roommates. She will always be one of my favorites. 

Liz: We may be roommates again sometime in the near future. Roommates in NYC. Were both following our Broadway dreams which makes us stay close even though we no longer go to school together. I miss her.

Day 23

As stated on my twitter. Today is the best day of January!! I’m so happy! Today, FINALLY my amazing voice teacher agreed to teach me how to belt! And we ended up working on On My Own for the whole entire lesson, and I CAN SING IT BETTER!! Already!!! Life is so freaking good. I’m so excited and I’ll be able to sing so much better. Which is the one thing I want more than anything. And secondly Megan and me are actually getting along and I’m thinking were going to be friends again. I’m really happy. Life is good :) 

Challenge Question: Day 23: a month/year of your life when you were happiest and why

I was really happy for most of 2008. Up until September. I had the most amazing boyfriend, an amazing senior year, and the greatest friends.

Day 21

I may have cheated and used a picture from Friday but who cares! So today I slept really late because I was out until 3am then stayed up till 6… I know bad idea. I was at bowling all night and people kept buying me drinks so I got kind of drunk! Then after bowling me and my friend matt met up with my best friend Nicole at the bar and had more drinks :)! I also got up and sang hit me with your best shot and I wasn’t nervous at all!I mean I know it’s because I was drunk but it’s improvement!

Question Challenge: Day 21: everything you wish for in a significant other

I need a guy who is hilarious. Since I was a kid all my family was funny so it’s my favorite thing about people! Make me laugh and you got me. Oh and someone who is trustworthy and sincere. I also would love someone whose spontaneous and will go on random adventures whenever